Overcome Challenges with Resilience: Emotional Intelligence

Labeling an Emotion

 

Conditioning: Emotional memories from the past can cause powerful emotions in the present. Emotional literacy is the ability to label an emotion as it arises and notice its sensation in the body.

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Practice: The next time that an emotion occurs, bring awareness to it and attach a label to it, such as “this is loneliness” or “this is contentment.” The cause of the emotion does not need to be explored during this practice. Next, label the sensation that it causes in the body, such as “shaky” or “tight.” 

 

Responding to an Emotion

 

Conditioning: Emotional intelligence can be improved by responding to emotional situations in the present moment or by recalling emotional situations and imagining new ways of responding.

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Practice: Recall a small positive or negative emotional situation to practice responding to, such as “winning an award” or “the annoyance of a partner not responding to a text message.” Bring awareness to the emotion and where its sensations are located in the body. Notice what thoughts arise about how to respond to the situation. Pause and reflect on how these possible ways of responding could relieve or amplify the emotion. Now, brainstorm five other ways of responding to the situation that would relieve or amplify the emotion. Imagine the consequences of responding in such a way and whether any of the five responses are especially appealing or repulsive. When experiencing the imagined emotional situation in the present moment, follow one of the planned responses and assess the outcome. 

 

Cultivating Gratitude

 

Conditioning: Practicing gratitude (being thankful for the good in life) can shift the brain into an emotionally stable state and bring about positive emotions such as joy, tranquility, and contentment. 

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Practice: Allow up to ten minutes to reflect on the people who have been helpful during a difficult time. When reflecting on these people, notice any sensations that arise in the body. Now, expand gratitude to the people who have never been met, but whose efforts make a difference in everyday life. This can include a farmer growing food, a truck driver delivering the food to the local market, etc. End this practice by reflecting on how cultivating a sense of gratitude impacts the emotional state.

 

Experiencing Awe

 

Conditioning: Experiencing a sense of awe can soothe the nervous system and bring joy to a day. Moments of awe do not need to be reserved for a beautiful sunset or painting. A sense of awe can be experienced anytime that an ordinary object is viewed with a sense of curiosity.

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Practice: Look around the current environment and notice everything as if seeing it for the first time. Be curious about each object that comes into awareness. Think about how it was made, its history, its purpose, notice its small details, etc. Visit an art gallery, concert, or theatrical play and notice the expressions of the people in the audience as they experience awe. Reflect on past memories of awe. Look at old photographs or videos of places that felt magical.  Discover a motivational speech online or read an uplifting book. Be open to experiencing moments of awe when viewing the speech or reading the book. End this practice by reflecting on how experiencing a sense of awe impacts the emotional state.

 

Cultivating Compassion

 

Conditioning: People can sometimes find it easier to feel compassion for others than for themselves. Allowing oneself to have genuine compassion for themselves can increase resilience and engagement with the world.

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Practice: Reflect on a time when compassion was felt for another person. Feel that compassion in the body and imagine that person being there. Remember that feeling and then reflect on a challenging situation in life. Bring the compassion that was felt for the other person into the self. Hold self-compassion for up to five minutes. When bringing compassion to the self, one hand may be placed over the heart while repeating a phrase such as “may I be kind to myself in this moment.” Notice if being compassionate to the self generates a sense of understanding, forgiveness, or increased engagement with the world.

 

Remembering Moments of Success

 

Reconditioning: A person may find self-confidence to do a task when they remember the feeling of doing something successfully in the past. The remembered success can be about something small and does not need to be related to a current task.

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Practice: Identify three moments from life when a sense of self-confidence was generated following a success. This success can be about anything. Notice how this memory of success feels in the body. Then, apply this sense of self-confidence to the current task or areas of life where more self-confidence is desired.

 

Creating a Feeling of Well-Being

 

Deconditioning: Being able to label emotions of well-being, such as peaceful, tranquil, or calm, may help the brain remember and recreate a feeling of well-being. 

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Strengthen: Find a comfortable location where the mind and body can relax for the next ten minutes. Imagine the weight of the body dissipating. Breathe slowly and deeply and allow each exhalation to last slightly longer than each inhalation. Imagine breathing in tranquility and breathing out any worries that are still being carried. Notice any spaciousness inside of the body and any space between thoughts. Focus awareness on the spaciousness and the absence of tensions and thoughts. Focus here for several minutes. Attach a label to the emotion of well-being that is now being felt, such as peaceful, tranquil, or calm. End this practice by committing to memory how the emotion of well-being felt. With each practice, the brain rewires to more easily achieve this state of well-being.